Two scenes from daily life...

1. In the queue at Virgin Nigeria Lagos (International Airport - for the moment). A man pays a middle man to jump the queue and get his ticket. Steam slowly arises from my ears. Later, I see him at the bar in the departure lounge, chatting up a woman. Her legs are slightly open and tilted in his direction. Then, when I am sitting on the plane, I see him enter. The woman is a few feet ahead of him. He pauses at the end of business class, and somewhat pointedly, stores his bag. The woman looks back, to see where he is. He sits down quickly in the wide seat. More people enter the plane. After a while, he walks back to her, then returns to his seat. A few minutes later, she walks up the plane to him, then returns to her seat. The plane starts to fill up. A few more minutes later, he walks down the plane and sits by her for the flight. Her accent sounds vaguely American. In Abuja, I walk past her, alone, on our way to arrivals. The guy is nowhere to be seen.

Am I right in thinking he was pretending to be in business class to charm her? That's a new trick..

2. At Salamander Cafe. In the yard outside, a black CLS AMG, looking all sleek and full of torque. A couple of glam-chic looking women leave the cafe. The darker skinned woman enters on the driver's side. I am in a rush, so walk past them and start my car (a slightly crappy Honda). A few seconds later, something catches my attention subliminally. The woman is struggling to get the metal monster out. She does a 8 point turn, and reverses into a large plant pot, instantly returning it back to the clay from whence it came. Eventually, she manages to get the Merc out. People are starting to stop and stare at the spectacle. I can't help roaring with laughter at the schadenfreude of it all. There is a scratch at the back of the car, as she speeds off into the distance. Mortification was hers..

Better park on the road next time dear.