Another joke...
A crusty old man walks into the local pentecostal church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."
The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language.
They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old man, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won N20 million in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."
"I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
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5 comments:
heheheeeeeeee, that was tooooooooo funny! good one, Jeremy!
A Nija guy returns from many years in US to set up a business in Abuja. He rents office space, packs it with IT gizmos and orders a phone line.
Next day his secretary informs him has a visitor. He tells her to usher him in then picks up the dead handset to give the impression he is very busy. As the visitor walks in he waves him to a seat, whilst holding a pretend discussion.
"Damn it Pete, I told you its $1m or nothing, get your act together and get back to me - pronto!"
He puts the phone down and smiles apologetically to the visitor - "sorry about that, men, just closing a deal. How can I help you?".
"No problem, sir", replies the visitor. "I am from NITEL. I am here to connect your phone line".
LMAO!! Good one!
Church Bulletin Bloopers:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let just worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.
Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
LOL! I love ur blog
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