Kitu Kizuri

A magazine for African women. Here's a sample article - "Advice from African married women." (thanks FO for the link):

Life they say is a journey but it appears that for single African women over the age of 30, life is a marathon. Like many married women, I have often watched with shock at how my single friends over
30 (with strong intentions to marry), fail to see the abundant ‘diamond in the rough’ type of men at family parties, weddings etc. In order to help our single sisters figure out the game of love, we
gathered advice on what they should do from African women who are married and often see what the single sisters don’t. Here is what the married women had to say:

1) Don’t focus on the Exterior-------LOOK INSIDE......DEEP INSIDE.....If he is short....they have shoes to fix that problem. If he does not dress well....don’t worry you can fix that with time. If he
says, ‘shicken’ instead of chicken......you can teach him the correct pronunciation or change yours to ‘shicken’ as well. Focus on his character, his ambitions and his principles. These will be good
indicators of his suitability as a mate.

2) Broaden your horizon -------- Ladies let’s be realistic, you are now living in the Western world. There are a ton of good men that are not necessarily from your tribe, village, country or race. Be
open to the possibilities.

3) Step out of the Box ------------ Have a social life beyond your job. You cannot be found if you constantly work or stay home.

4) Drop the Defensive Attitude ------You are the Woman and He is THE MAN.

5) Don’t look for Mr Ready Made--------------Be willing to start from scratch together.

6) LEAVE OUR MEN ALONE -------- Appreciate from far what hard work and time we have spent to get our men to where they are now.....and aim to do the same with your own man....not ours.

7) COOK - Men have not changed much since creation. The basics still work quite well for them. That being said....COOK....and make sure its what he likes to eat.

8) Know your Competition - Ladies, past 30 eh, there is no need for ‘shakara’ also known as pretending. If you want to talk to him, pick up the phone and call. At this age your competition are women
between 21 to 25 and trust us....they are go getters.

7) Know when to UNLEASH the Nookie - Should you sleep with him on day one or should you sleep with him after 9 months? Our panel of married women all had different stories with different outcomes.
Only you can determine when the time is right but it is extremely important that the nookie be part of the TOTAL package you offer (cooking, strong listening skills, good manners etc....) and not a
side dish.

8) Establish Yourself as a Unique Brand - What is your story? Who has influenced your life? What is important to you? What inspires you? Why should he pick you? Knowledge of self will increase self
confidence thereby making you more attractive.

9) Forget the night clubs----------- You will not meet him there. So don’t bother.

10) Know when to say.... ‘to the left, to the left’ - - - - - You cannot date a man forever. If you have been seriously dating or living with a man for two years and no mention of marriage has come
up.....stop wasting your time with him. End the relationship. Move on.

11) Diversify Your Social Life ---- Keep yourself busy. Get active in the community, expand your horizon. If you are Nigerian, don’t just attend Nigerian events or events held by your village
association in America. Make friends with other Africans as well and attend their events.

12) Mail Order Groom ---- Sometimes taking a vacation and visiting home might just be the best way to find your spouse. Your nagging relatives may have found the perfect mate for you, so do give this
option a try.

13) Be Patient - Don’t get desperate and don’t ask questions like, ‘so where is this going’ on the second date. Take your time.

14) Set Goals for yourself and accomplish them while you wait.

HAVE A WONDERFUL SEPTEMBER

Angela Ogbolu
Editor
Kitu Kizuri