Abuja stories

Pastor Christ (Christ Embassy) is in town. Eagle Sq, the military parade ground, is bedecked with plastic chairs as far as the eye can see with a video screen by the stage. I've spent many puzzled hours watching him strut his stuff on tv. You know the rest of what I'm about to say: it goes in one ear and out the other - i just don't get non-linear sermons. Still, he conks his hair back and wears flashy suits. Perhaps that's the appeal. I'm told he's not a prosperity-doctrine illusionist, so that counts for something.

Meanwhile, I got stopped cheating a red light this morning by a late middle-aged policeman with a big stick near Nicon (it doesnt sound right calling it Transcorp somehow). "Pak well Pak well" he barked. Oh dear, I thought.

"Oga. Sorry o. My sister in law is very sick. I have to take her to hospital quick-quick." My assistant feigns serious illness on cue.
"Oga. Please forgive me. I'm desperate to get her to see a doctor."
His stern expression softens.
"Its ok. I forgive you for the offence. But what do you have for me?"
"Haba oga, I have no money." Jeremy pauses to come up with a plan.
"However, I have plenty bananas. Please, abeg. Take two." I hand him two bananas. He bursts out laughing.
"Oya go."

That's what I love about Nigeria - a polite conversation can go a long way. Try flattering a UK copper and see where it'll get you..